To move forward from a traumatic experience is hard. For some, it's nearly impossible. We fall into the mindset of "this was done to me and I have all these issues and now my life is over." Or- "Someone did this to me and they robbed my life and now I can't function." That gives someone else complete control over our life. The problem with that way of thinking is that it simply does not work for us in a positive way. We fall into the trap of shoving everything bad in our lives to the ever growing ball of blame that stems from the first bad experience that we are struggling to move forward from in our quest for a happy and peaceful life. We're no longer victims unless we're in a situation of abuse or similiar and we have no control over the situation. An example of this is a child in an abusive home. Mentally able and healthy adults have the ability to control their own lives so if they're still in an abusive situation, deep down, it's their choice they are living with. So the question is how do we move forward from "what was done to us?" We have to make an effort and make the choice to do just that. Sure, things happen. Bad things happen to good people. But to live in self-pity and tout the woe-is-me life makes things worse and it only leads to a more negative and unhappy way of life. We can ask ourselves a simple question- What are the payoffs of us living that negative type of life? What are we getting from it? Only we as individuals have the power to change our lives, and if we want to live happy and productive lives, we can. The other questions are- What are you, as an individual who has been hurt, willing to do to change your life for the better? And- What are you willing to do to re-claim control over your own life to live the happy life you deserve? The best revenge is to live well. |
