Remember those good old days when your garage band could record an unsolicited single on a tape and you could high-jack a radio station with water guns? Those days are long gone, my disenchanted FM radio-listening friend.

What isnt gone, but indeed very much here, is the major record companies recent lawsuit involving yet another payola scandal. You remember payola, that blood-stained illegal practice of record companies paying large sums of money for broadcast of newly-released singles on mainstream radio. Take cover, Sony-BMG.

Well get this. Major labels have gotten together and are being represented under the unsavory title of Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA). The complaint filed by the RIAA basically claims that record companies are tired of paying escalating fees to independent promoters who refuse to play your everyday, mainstream, big-company backed artists. Sorry, Kanye West, but the only Goldigga around here is your record company.

Furthermore, the RIAA is pleading with the FCC to update their outdated payola laws that leave large, $150 million dollar loop-holes in the system. The lawsuit has recently attracted governmental attention from Democrats who intend to take the case to the Supreme Court.

What is most interesting is that the RIAA didnt file the complaint until their losses due to payola hit the $150 million mark. It wasnt bothering them when they were losing $149 million a year, but hey, $150 million, now the radio stations are just being cruel. Give us a break. Thats like Richie Rich complaining about losing a gold button off his sports coat.

In a poll conducted by the Future of Music Coalition, 68% of all radio listeners want governmental intervention. Feeling the most heat is any God-fearing democracy lovers arch nemesis, Clear Channel Communications. This is not the first time Clear Channel has come under heavy fire from the government. A few years back a lawsuit was filed against Clear Channel, citing their monopoly-like tactics in acquiring hundreds of radio-stations, concert venues, and ticket outlets. The lawsuit was handled out of court, and Clear Channel suffered less than a slap on the wrist. They now own at least 1,225 FM radio stations across the country. Eddie Veder, mastermind behind the Clear Channel boycott and lead singer of Pearl Jam, continues to make mediocre albums.

Clear Channel argues that the payola practices were originally instated by the record companies decades ago. Clear Channel claims that it is not their fault, but up to the record companies to stop paying the price for pay for play air-time. They claim that they rely on the funds received from record companies. Since profits can be filed under nontraditional revenue, the practice has been entertained as legal for years.

So whos side to take? How about your own.

The only person who will lose in this battle is the consumer. Weve been taking it from big-records and big-radio for years. Both conglomerates are seedy, cutthroat, and money-hungry. Compare it to a main-event wrestling match between Irvin R. Sheister and Ted DiBiase for the Million-Dollar Belt. The big rip-off is that both lie, cheat, and steal, while you pay a $74.00 front row ticket for a rigged match. And thats all this is.

I predict that the RIAA and Clear Channel will come to a settlement, a settlement that legalizes certain aspects of the payola practice. In turn, record sales will go up. Imagine constantly being hit over the head with a Beyonce single that brain-washes you to buy a $30 dollar CD from Sam Goody. Oh wait that was yesterday.

The only way to play defense against corporate music is to put your foot down. Im not advising to boycott mainstream music, but there are other ways to get your hands on it without sacrificing your good sense, your wallet, or your dignity to the musical powers that be. I borrow from the great American patriot Abbey Hoffman when I say Steal this music. If ripping-off the consumer is legal, then why not right back at them?